Ding Dong The Dickheads Dead!

It is a very surreal feeling to one day open your mail and get a notice from the state that your marriage is officially over. It is a true mix of emotions; happy, sad, elation, failure, success, motivation, excitement and so on. On March 18, 2013 I experienced that feeling (for the second time). I opened the papers telling me that as of March 14, 2013 I was officially and legally divorced – hallelujah! I also discovered that my x had not paid me the correct amount of settlement he owed me on top of that I still did not have my belongings back. I wanted my custom-made Chanel flats back, and I wanted them NOW!

I quickly sent out a group text to my close friends, letting them know the joyful news!

“Congrats!” “Can’t wait to celebrate!” “About fucking time!” were just a few of the cheerful responses I got. My favorite though was “Ding Dong the Dickheads Dead!” LOL, it still makes me giggle when I say it in my head, singing it like the Wizard of Oz original!

In light of this financial discovery, I called my lawyer and asked him what I should do. I made the phone call as quickly as possible; I had been very happy not paying him for the last few months, but I needed a word of advice. He suggested I try to resolve the matter directly with my x, via email, and if that didn’t work he would be happy to draft a letter and alert the court.

So I did just that. I constructed a very civil email stating that I needed my items back as soon as possible and that according to our final papers I was due additional money. He didn’t owe me that much money, but my settlement was such joke anyway, and I wanted to make sure I got all of it! He replied the next day letting me know that he was very busy. He was getting quotes from movers and would let me know shortly but he was sure to tell me that he was traveling a lot for work so it might take a while. Of course, sure I thought, it had only been 14 months, and I can totally see how he would need some more time to return things that didn’t belong to him! What a jerk I thought to myself but decided not to be a bitch about it. You get more bees with honey, right? I simply wrote him back to say that I understand he is busy, but I need the money, which he didn’t address at all in his reply, and my belongings back as soon as possible.

He sent me an email a few days later, telling me how tight money was for him right now. He also didn’t like the quotes he and been given by movers, so he was looking for a few more. I replied with a short and curt email stating that I would hate to have to get our lawyers involved. He quickly shot back an email expressing his hatred for my lawyer and his inability to bay any additional billable hours to his legal team.

The next day I was flying to Scottsdale to spend time with my family and our close friends. It was spring break for my nieces, and I couldn’t wait to see them. I was filling my family in on the great news about my divorce and mentioned that he still owned me money and my things. I followed up by telling them that I was looking at the bright side and focusing on how happy I was now that I was officially divorced. I also said that I was handling it myself, so I didn’t have to pay my lawyer again. Suddenly I noticed that my father was turning a shade of red I had never seen. When I asked what was wrong, he said this, “I am sick and tired of this shit and you being jerked around by him. Look, he returns your belongings and pays you your money right now, or I am taking over. My lawyer will handle the case, and I will keep his ass in court just for fun if I have to. Tell him I said that!” Damn I love my dad!

I have to admit that my parents had been wonderful during my divorce and, at my request, had let me handle it. It was my mistake, and I needed to figure it out myself and up until now I had been doing a pretty good job. I had only seen that look in my dad’s eye a few times, and I knew he meant business. It told him how thankful I was for his support but asked that he let me speak to my x before his lawyer did anything. He agreed.

After dinner that night I decided to write him another email, I got the point right away. I also cc’d my father. The email was something like this;

Dear x.

Good news, I agree, I would hate to have our lawyers get involved as well and to be honest I don’t’ want to deal with my lawyer either. The bad news for you is that it wouldn’t be my lawyer, it will be my fathers. He has stayed away from our divorce, per my request, but that is not the case any longer. I either have my belonging delivered to LA, and your payments brought current by the end of the month or legal actions will be taken. My father will control and fund all legal expenses on my end from this time forward. It has taken a ridiculous amount of time for you to send my things, and I am done waiting. I am sorry it has come to this. Please let me know your arrangements as you as you make them.


Well, within three days I had a check bringing his payments current, and I had a scheduled date to receive my things from the movers he miraculously found. It was a miracle- LOL.

Standing on the sidewalk of a Public Storage is not my idea of a fun time. As the unmarked moving truck pulled up, and I met the men who had my life in their hands, I got a sick feeling in my stomach. As they began to unload my life that was packed in boxes and wheel it into a storage unit I started to feel light-headed. Jack told me to sit on the curb and take a rest, even more glamorous than standing on the sidewalk. As I watched, things being rolled off the back of the truck I could tell things were missing. My coffee table, an area rug, my couch, etc. but at that moment I didn’t even care- I just wanted it over. Once they had finished loading the unit, Jack asked if I wanted to look to make sure everything was there. I told him to lock the door, we were leaving, I didn’t even want to look at the stuff.

When I asked the head guy what I needed to sign to get out of there, he said, “I was the guy who picked up all of these things from your husband.”

“Ex- husband,” I quickly corrected him.

He went on to say, “you know I think he really misses you. The way he talks about you, you can tell he still loves you, you know. He said he wished you didn’t move out.”

Trying not scream in the nice mans face I simply signed my name and said, “well then you can tell him he shouldn’t have had a girlfriend the entire time we were together and married.”

I couldn’t even look him in the eye, I took my copy of whatever it was I had signed and walked to my car. How dare he tell me that my husband misses me?? What fucking business is it of his? He had a lot of nerve, and he better be glad I had taken an emotional kick in the gut that day and wasn’t up to my full strength.

Single & Stylish,
xx Keylee


*All of the events I have written about in the above and previous posts are about me, my life, my experiences and from my point of view.

© Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Oh La La, Gem La La!


I had the privilege of meeting the fabulous Jennifer Worman through our mutual good friend about two years ago. Within moments, I knew she was one of chicest women in my life! She is not only a well-known Chicago blogger (Red Soles and Red Wine), she is a jewelry designer, mom, entrepreneur, wife, and all around fantastic woman! When she launched her new venture Gem La La this month, I couldn’t wait to hear all about it!

1. What started your love affair of jewelry?
I’ve loved all things shiny – sequins, crystals, gold foil etc since I was young. As a kid, getting my ears pierced was one fabulous moment and from then on, changing my earrings to match my outfit was one of my favorite things to do. Coming from a clothing merchandising background I wanted to do something different when I opened my own business and jewelry was the perfect match. It’s a one size that fits all and through my two pregnancies I felt stylish because of my jewels. I could wear the same outfit, change out my accessories and feel different.
2. How has your design esthetic evolved since becoming a mother?
It honestly hasn’t changed that much! I make it a priority to still be myself, which is a dressed up in heels woman. I’ve always enjoyed styling myself and heels are my vice so I pretty much still wear the same wardrobe. The only thing is that I have added a bit more flats in my wardrobe for those days we take walks with the kids or when I need to run around with them. But overall, I feel good when I look good so I continue to do so as a mother.

3. What inspired you to start Gem La La?
My sister and I talked about a jewelry plan business years ago, but we didn’t feel confident with the process and procedures or if we could have the right merchandise for the totes. But three years later with our experience running t+j Designs, seeing what the customers love and with the success of our business we feel Gem La La will do well! It’s a great deal – 5/6 pieces for $30 a tote (that’s $5 an item) and the tote will be a cute tote that is reusable.

4. How is Gem La La different from other sites?
We’ve researched other subscription plans and the customer pays quite a bit for either “borrowing” jewelry and than having to pay for the jewelry at a high price when they keep it or in general it’s a bunch of samples or items that you may or may not love. We wanted it to be super affordable and the best thing is you can gift or keep different items. Each quarter there’s some type of holiday, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Birthday’s, Christmas, etc. . you get to shop your own tote or gift items you think others may love.

5. What is the biggest challenge and best thing about working with family?
I feel so lucky that my family works so well together! We are all really good at separating work vs family which ultimately means not getting your feelings hurt about certain decisions or when discussions happen. And when we have family time, it is delicious dinners and we talk about other things. I would say the biggest challenge for us all is that during the holidays, the time where you are supposed to cherish and be with your family, my family ends up working the entire time and we are the most stressed. It’s great for business but hard for us to all relax.
i'm so fancy 6
6. What is your secret to doing it all; wife, mother, CEO, designer, social butterfly?
I definitely don’t feel like I can do it all, I have good and bad days, but ultimately I take it day by day, and schedule everything in my life. I also make decisions to prioritize certain things; weekends are all about family time and spending time with my kids, during the week I try to get as much done and after my kids go to bed I’ll either attend events or do a date night with my hubby. Day time is full of appointments, conference calls, designing, merchandising, marketing, etc. I have lots of help from my hubby, daycare, and a babysitter that help my life tremendously so it looks like I’m doing it all!

7. What are 5 things you never leave the house without? Lipstick, heels, a good bag, iPhone 6, Necklace

8. Who is your favorite upcoming jewelry designer?
This one is hard because I only wear items my husband gifts me or my own designs! This designer isn’t new, but I love her pieces – Jennifer Fisher

Click on the Gem La La link for more info!

Single & Stylish,
xx Keylee

They Thought I Might Go Home.

Developing the tools to change your relationship habits is like trying to put a five drawer dresser from IKEA together and not have any extra parts- nearly impossible without professional help! So I did what I usually did; I had some wine with my girlfriends and then made an extra therapy appointment that month.

The next day a friend of mine called out of the blue and the first words out of her mouth were, ‘are you sitting down?” I had a bit of a hangover but through my fog I, of course, assumed she was pregnant or something equally shocking, but I would soon learn I was wrong. “Ok, I am,” I said, actually I was still lying in bed but close enough. “I just had lunch with Sandy and I think your husband was sleeping with Rachel as well!” I immediately started laughing, deep hysterical laugh. I don’t think this is the reaction she was at all expecting, but she began to giggle and then ask, “wait, why we were laughing?” It was hard for me to explain but, Rachel was an older woman who was divorced with children and had been our dog sitter at different’ times. Jet loved her so I always felt great leaving him with her when we would travel. I just never even thought my husband was that fond of her as well! I never assumed Katy would be the only one; it just wasn’t logical, but Rachel was the last person I every imagined. One thing was clear; my husband didn’t have a ‘type’. After finding out this new information, I went on to assume that he would sleep with, or had slept with, just about anyone. In all of my research and talking to both therapists, we always agreed that eventually I would learn about other women. Men who have this pattern of behavior never do this just once or with one woman. This was the first evidence, if you can call it that, I had that Katy wasn’t the only one, and I was surprisingly calm about it. I had become so detached from him that I really didn’t care if I found out he was gang banging hookers every weekend. It wasn’t like I ever considered going back to him. Ok, hookers might have been a bit too much but, later I would find out he had a thing for women who looked like hookers (probably real ones too).

Months later I found out that my close friends and family were terrified I would go back to him. This point has always been laughable to me, how on earth could they think that? At first I was offended, did they not know me at all? In my mind, there wasn’t a remote chance in hell that I would ever go back, but those close to me were not so sure. I guess they had never seen me that tortured and dealing with something that was so emotionally gut wrenching. I admit I was sad, I was depressed, I was angry, I was even a bit confused but I was never considering staying with someone who had destroyed every ounce of trust we had. My soul was crushed, but I wasn’t brain dead! I just had to do things my way. My biggest fear in life is looking back and saying “what if.” I have only said it a few times, and it haunts me still. I had to go through the process and find out all of the information I could before officially moving forward. No matter what it looked like on the outside, I was NOT going back. Ever. Even my nieces would sing the Taylor Swift song “Never Ever” whenever his name was brought up, I still think of them every time that song comes on.

November was shaping up to be a great month. I stopped dating (new men), I was focused on work, my divorce was on track and I tried to avoid thinking about the holidays. Since I was an expert at avoiding things, especially my feelings, I was doing a very good job of it! As we prepared to head to New Hampshire for the pageant over Thanksgiving, I was excited, and I had a lot of travel scheduled between now the new year. I knew the holidays would be tough so keeping busy was my solution.

The New Hampshire pageant was my favorite. It was small and very manageable; the people were always nice and it was a good way for us to start off the pageant season. I was even more excited for my travel plans after all the pageants and holidays were over! We had planed a trip to Europe: Jack me, my best friend and business partner Kent, Megan and Mackenzie. I was so excited I wanted to burst!

I was sitting in the office booking a trip to New York for December, and I got a text from Jaxton. He was annually invited on a ski trip for work that took place in Dear Valley, “want to come?” The text read; he always had a way with words. A weekend in the snow with Jaxton, roaring fire, red wine, s’mores, skiing, … how could I say no? I couldn’t, and I didn’t! December was shaping up to be a crazy month, but I was up for it! The best part is that we would be heading to the mountains two days after my court date. I would be in the mountains with Jaxton and free woman- dreams really do come true!

During my next session with Sabrina, I felt focused and ready for her to tell me what I needed in my emotional tool kit! She said the one thing I knew I didn’t want to hear. “You already have the tools; you just need to learn to use them.” I felt like I was Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz when the Good Witch tells her how she has had the power to return home all along, and she just needed to click her heels. Ugh, such a rip-off answer. I wanted her to look at me and say, this is what you need to do. Steps A, B, and C and then this will all be behind you. But when was life ever that easy?

Sabrina did what any good therapist would do; we talked about how the recent situations made me feel. Then she made me tell her how they really made me feel with out my usual sugar coating. I cried a bit for maybe the second time ever in therapy and then we did our usual session of hypnosis to calm my mind. It was my new favorite thing, after a hypnosis session I felt like I had slept 10 hours. My mind was clear and my heart was light. It took away anxiety, and it helped me deal with situations without giving in to my panic. Sadly it didn’t last a super long time but I would take whatever I could get.

Single & Stylish,

xx Keylee

Don’t we all wish we could click our heels together and find our way? These are heel clicking worthy shoes!

*All of the events I have written about in the above and previous posts are about me, my life, my experiences and from my point of view.

© Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Faux Sure!

The words “faux fur” used to make my skin crawl, wait; lets be real- faux anything makes my skin crawl. But, I will grit my teeth and say that I am impressed with the faux fur pieces that are poping up on store racks and reatil websites! Remember, if you are going to indulge in the faux luxury then please follow a few rules!

The rules of faux fur are easy: 1. You do not want to every look like a muppet, stuffed animal, or hooker. 2. Don’t get it wet or you will look like a wet dog. 3. Beware but not afraid of color or pattern. They are the most likely to cross over into the hooker/ pimp arena.

Single & Stylish ,

xx Keylee